bull
12-30-2006, 09:21 AM
The truth came out yesterday folks --- probly shouldn't say anything but I don't think we've made a "Man Law" on this topic as yet so here goes --
Rick, his ownself, admitted (while standing next to a chest full of metric tools) that's like putting your hand on the bible, that what happened was he over "medicated" on the Viagra and it shot his bp way up.
My only cocnern is why tempt fate with a true "winter'n woman"?
I think Rick may have a "wintering woman" that fits ALL the below stated requirements because everytime I go over to his house he runs her out the back doorand makes her hide by the wood shed until I leave. He didn't think I knew but that strong "fish" odor lingers and the real key is the dishes are always done.
Foir the under privledged in the art of survivn'g a cold winter as a bachelor I shall pontificate on qualitys or lack of same of a TRUE "wintering woman".
1. She has to be UGLY - because come spring when she leaves you'll be relieved instead of heart broke.
2. She has to be FAT - because a truly FAT woman not only knows how to cook but is damn good at it.
3. She has to be 3 foot tall - Rick's case is harder cuase he's stubby in his own right, he'll need a 2 footer.
4. Flat head is a MUST, soft downy hair is desired, for place to rest your beer, especially when in the garage so it won't spill and lose any precious liquid.
5. This last one is a tricky one and y'all might want to stay away from this requirement, many a man has married a FAT, UGLY, STUBBY, FLAT HEADED woman that had this in her package - she has to be able to SUCK a golf ball through three feet of garden hose without coming up for air.
Rick, his ownself, admitted (while standing next to a chest full of metric tools) that's like putting your hand on the bible, that what happened was he over "medicated" on the Viagra and it shot his bp way up.
My only cocnern is why tempt fate with a true "winter'n woman"?
I think Rick may have a "wintering woman" that fits ALL the below stated requirements because everytime I go over to his house he runs her out the back doorand makes her hide by the wood shed until I leave. He didn't think I knew but that strong "fish" odor lingers and the real key is the dishes are always done.
Foir the under privledged in the art of survivn'g a cold winter as a bachelor I shall pontificate on qualitys or lack of same of a TRUE "wintering woman".
1. She has to be UGLY - because come spring when she leaves you'll be relieved instead of heart broke.
2. She has to be FAT - because a truly FAT woman not only knows how to cook but is damn good at it.
3. She has to be 3 foot tall - Rick's case is harder cuase he's stubby in his own right, he'll need a 2 footer.
4. Flat head is a MUST, soft downy hair is desired, for place to rest your beer, especially when in the garage so it won't spill and lose any precious liquid.
5. This last one is a tricky one and y'all might want to stay away from this requirement, many a man has married a FAT, UGLY, STUBBY, FLAT HEADED woman that had this in her package - she has to be able to SUCK a golf ball through three feet of garden hose without coming up for air.