So at 2:00 this morning i get a call from the mayor saying that we need to barricade some of the streets as there is water flowing over them, Fine no problem. Go into the torrential downpour and load up saveral barricades and place them.
It's now roughly 3:00 am and the emergency management director asks my opinion on getting the sand bags and sand pile for filling them, No problems make the necessary arrangements and presto everything is here ( and we all know how ez it is to get everyones cooperation at 3am)
A whopping crew of 4 show up to fill bags as everyone else is blocking local, county, and state roads that are under water. I ask them to bag around my lift station pumps, for those of you who don't know what they are... they involve pumps,poop, (know as grumpys, or little red howlers) and gravity or the lack thereof. I can't help cuz I'm neede elsewhere.
So in the meantime I have an emergency meeting to discuss, evacuating 200-250 people from a subdivision that will soon be unaccessable as water is flowing over the road at this point. Problem is we need someone to "rescue" them. Low and behold who gets nominated by the sacrificial lamb but me. Evidently I am the most expendable, even though it seems no decisions can be made without my input. I will have to wear a life preserver cuz I will be going back and forth shuttling people, At this time there is over 2 feet of water flooding over the road and about 100 yards or so is over a bridge where it is quite deep, Now traveling over bridges right now is not my favorite subjectsince the I35 thing a few weeks ago. So anyway off i go just me and my ford diesel and about 15 life jackets and several trips later (its now approx 5am) (people love being drug from their beds at that hour with the knowledge that they might not know what they will return too) anyhow we manage to get everyone out that wants out (but wait).
I go back to my sewer lift station to find approx 3 feet of water over the top, evedently without anyone there to herd the chickens they just kinda scattered into the breeze (those of yo uwho are bosses understand that directing people is like herding chickens). So my pumps are running force when I get a call from the sewer plant. " Capt'n she cant't takes no more."
To which I respond"Damn it Jim, I'm a sewer rat not a miracle worker".
In my "spare" timme I get a call saying that more people have decided they want out of the subdivision, ( I figure the booze wore off). No problem super sewer rat to the rescue. So I don my cape (and life vest) and brave GOD KNOWS how much water as I wasn't looking down just straight ahead!! I get to one home and the people needs help loading their **** as they plan on taking a vacation, and his wife bitches the whole way across about how her ass is getting wet from the seat, No **** Sherlock, I've been wading waist deep in water trying to keep my pumps running so I can keep the **** out of your basement so you can ***** at me, cuz after all I control the Fuc'n weather. I felt like kicking this broad out half way across, and I suspect her husband may not have seen a thing!!
So I'm sitting in front of my work computer taking a break from all the assholes that I have been planning,organizing, getting equipment for so they can pump out their pathetic little basements. Its been the 14 hour (sofar) day from hell, and there are several more hours left cuz I still have over 2 feet of water over both my lift stations and I can't go home till the pumps shut off, and you know the really cool part? We got 2-3 more inches of rain just over 2 counties, Well these are the high lights of MY day, there are lots more details. So as bad as your day is Look back on mine and say "**** I'm glad i'm not that a$$hole!" Well duty calls i have to don the cape and listen to some joker ***** that the pump I let him use isn't running right after he decided to soak the ignition system with water cuz he didn't know that water out of a 3"high pressure hose will flood an engine when pointed directly at it.
The highlight of my day... I got to help a friend pull his $750,000 classic car collection out and save my favorite a 70 chevelle LS6, Oh the Hemi cuda is nice too. Out JK
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